We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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