Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize