well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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