and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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