3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm passing your future prison.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
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Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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