3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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