I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
