I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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