Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
