I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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