Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
