We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
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i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
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does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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