My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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