Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize