yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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