Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize