He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
