Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
