Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
