You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
