i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
