for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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