okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
