its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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