you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
