hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize