Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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