Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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