apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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