What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
