Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
