Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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