It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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