Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
and she was petting her beer can
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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