Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
