As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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