Well douche your snatch and let's go!
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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