I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
as a side note pls kill me
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