capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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