I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
