Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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