I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize