I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
