i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I want her autograph on my taint
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
