Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
