i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
