i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
