I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
