Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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