if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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