I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
